Doesn’t it feel good to get real, with ourselves and with others?
Doesn’t it feel good to honor what we know to be true in our heart?
Doesn’t it feel good to act according to our convictions?
Of course it does!
But too often our everyday tasks, the challenges in our relationships, the incessant inner chatter in our heads, drown out the intuitions and convictions that are present when we get real.
The pace and problems that swirl around us often push our realness to the background, and our anxiousness to the foreground.
As I was driving to work one day, feeling preoccupied by all the stuff awaiting me there, I took a deep breath, connected with my body, slowed my mind, and more grounded thoughts started tumbling into my awareness. Here’s what showed up as I became present and real:
#1 - It’s not about me.
Other people who are impatient, unrealistic, demanding, annoying, needy, etc., are not my problems and I am not responsible for them. I can be responsive and even caring toward them, but I don’t have to be. Their dramas are their dramas, and they don’t need to become mine.
#2 - It’s all about me.
My well-being and my mood in any given moment are all about me. No one can make me feel anything. There is no external situation that has to undo me.
When I drop down into what is most real in me, I find a space that is quiet, secure, and grateful. The door to this space is always open, but I have to be intentional about entering it, especially when the demands mount.
#3 - The size of my problems and my spirit are inversely related.
On a scale of 1 to 10, if my problem is a 6 and my spiritual awareness is at a 3, it’s a big problem. So, let’s say I decide to go for a walk.
I let the singing birds remind me that the Divine is conspiring for my well-being, and my spirit score jumps to an 8. As I see the bigger spiritual picture the size 6 problem gets reframed and downsized.
For me, the reminder that “we are spiritual beings having a human experience” is always invites a powerful shift of perspective.
#4 - My work is not about self-improvement but self-awareness.
My ego is always striving and grasping after improvement. And, it wants to make sure that you know how important or good I am. “What do they think?” “I need to . . . .” “ I should . . . .“ Phrases like these carry the weight of both improving ourselves and proving ourselves to others. They are layered with beliefs that are spirit-killing, and they make us less real and more overwhelmed and anxious.
When I shift my thinking to self-awareness, I move out of my inner-critic and into my curious self. I shift into a learning mode. And when I’m curious and learning, its a easy slide into my real self.
It feels good to get real.
After this mental excursion, I’m in a different place. Less anxious. More aware and alive. I walk into work feeling lighter, with more energy and smaller problems. And, I actually look forward to some of the work that lies ahead.
Everything goes better when I get more real.