Clients sometimes believe that their problems reside outside of them. The truth is that their perception - or more accurately, the misperception that they are disempowered - is often the problem.
It is natural for clients to think that the problem is the job, the family member, or the financial struggle. But a false perception is like a bar on a jail cell: if clients build enough of them, they soon find themselves imprisoned in their own disempowerment.
Most of our suffering happens because we are locked in a jail of our own making, and we don’t even know it. We become victims of our perceptions, and we don’t realize the jailer is within us.
A key aspect of a spiritual guide’s work is to notice when clients overly externalize their problems, and then help them reorient this misperception. Every time we do so, we strengthen the client’s self-awareness and discerning mind. Every time we do so, we support them in their liberating work.
Mike was a client who was a pastor. He was an excellent preacher. He was in a church that had a lot of retired pastors and some professors. Over time, he became oriented to their occasional constructive feedback. He was deaf to the many positive comments he received, and he amplified the comments he heard as negative.
These would echo in his mind for weeks on end. He began to have anxiety attacks, and it wasn’t long before this gifted preacher hated to preach. He perceived that a handful of people were sharks out to get him. It wasn’t true (I knew a couple of them), but it felt very true for Mike and he became imprisoned by this perception.
Misperceptions imprison us and turn us into victims. When we are victims, we forget that we are a creator, an artist in our own life. Artists take raw form and make it beautiful or moving. Artists take strange perceptions and spin them into learning and empowerment.
This ability to shift our perception sets us free, and we have an amazing power to impact our perception and therefore our reality.
My work with Mike was about helping him disconnect from both the negative and positive comments, and to get back in touch with what he loved about preaching. His perceptions changed when he experienced this mental shift:
“I started to hear every bit of constructive feedback as evidence that my words were working on people. That God was using me to stir things up. What used to send me into a spin, now got me excited!”
Misperceptions throw a wet blanket over our clients’ minds. Every time we help clients break free from their misperceptions, we help them open themselves to a flow of grace that enlivens them and brings with it infinite possibilities for their lives.