Okay, the title is a shameless attempt to get your attention. AND, there’s a truth in helping clients give up a certain kind of prayer. Helping clients connect deeply with God is one of the most significant gifts that can come from spiritual guidance work. Some ways of praying deepen our connection with God and some keep the Holy at a distance.
Many of us in the Christian tradition have inherited a “talking to God“ kind of prayer. We tell God what’s on our minds. We ask for things. We say thank you. For many people, this qualifies as perfectly normal prayer. So what’s the problem?
One problem I’ve seen is that simply “talking to God” in this way often slides into more of a “talking at God.” We end up spending a lot of time saying things, and hardly any time actually listening for what God has to say in return, let alone practicing simply being with God.
The fact is, being with is God’s primary love language. And when God does speak, it’s rarely in a form of “talk” that our talkative selves are ready to understand.
The other trouble with all our talking is that it’s mostly a from-the-neck-up practice. Too much speaking keeps us stuck in our heads and the anxious thoughts that spin there.
We get into a habit of praying this way, and gradually forget that there are other ways of praying. But the good news is - there are other ways of praying!
Over and over, I’ve seen that if people want to truly encounter the living God, their prayer needs to come from and be felt in the heart and the body.
This felt-presencing is a key part of many of the deeper mystical traditions. Centering prayer, certain forms of meditation, the Jesus prayer tradition in Eastern orthodoxy - all of these are rooted in the heart and body.
There are loads of examples of these deeper forms of prayer. And rather than searching for them, I’m going to strongly encourage you to do your own research. If you already have a practice of heart-and-body prayers, then find a new style you haven’t tried before.
These forms of prayer make space for an uncommon quiet, where we receive the Spirit and guidance from God in unexpected ways. They allow us to hear a fresh word, instead of working so hard to always find words. They allow us to speak God’s language of being with.
I know that my prayer discoveries often have often found their way into my client conversations. So be intentional this week about deepening your prayer life, I have a hunch it will help you deepen your support of clients.